This Rant Has Nothing to Do with Books and Everything to Do with Politics.

I try to stay quiet about certain things. I’m not usually one these days to scream at every homophobic politician that has his head so far up his OWN ass that really you have to wonder about his own heterosexuality. When I was a teenager I cried out over every outrage to the LGBTQ community. I went to protests in college. I wrote scathing articles in my school’s paper.  I was every bit the wide eyed, optimistic for being able to change the future gay teen that most people imagine we all are.

I don’t know where I lost my fervor for justice. Somewhere along the line I cooled down, decided to let the politicians fight it out. But the whole while I was secretly outraged at every miscarriage of the law and every anti-gay comment politicians made. Still, I fell into work. I couldn’t, with the jobs (and job) that I have had (and currently have sad to say), stand up and be vocal.  Protests? Surely not. It became tiresome and I am sad to admit that I decided my energy would be best spent elsewhere. Letting people who knew what they were doing protest and fight for our rights.

But lately I’ve started coming to the realization that who are we if we let other people fight for us? How can I sit back and watch as every conservative candidate for the presidency is attacking me and everyone in the community? They aren’t doing it with fists. They aren’t starting witchhunts with villagers chasing us with pitchforks. They’re doing it with something far more deadly. Words and ideas. See, words and ideas can be a blessing or a curse. They go where fists can’t. They plant seeds of dissention, they sow discord among the ranks.

Words are the most powerful weapon that the human race possesses. I don’t care what anyone says. I don’t care if you say talking through something yields no results. It might not right away. But give it time. Say the same thing enough times and it damn well does work.  The problem is, that we are outnumbered. It’s a sad but true fact. I suppose that’s why I calmed myself down. I didn’t see the point in it. “It’s not going to happen in our generation or even the next.” I’d say.  “This battle will wage for decades, why should I bother?”  That made me far worse than any right-wing lunatic screaming that because I don’t want to jump into bed with a man, I’m more vile than the devil himself.

In the grand scheme of things, I’m no one. Just a girl from the North East sitting in front of her computer on a saturday morning tired of reading the same stories. Tired of seeing that people have killed themselves, tired of hearing that “Oh well he’s the best candidate for President. What the hell has Obama done?” and thinking… “Well, he’s kept the presidency from using every resource to start a gay witch hunt. He repealed don’t ask don’t tell and he’s trying to keep his head above water with a oppositional majority in congress. Oh! and he did bring all the troops home like he promised.”

I doubt anyone will read this post but the few people I know. That’s fine. But at least I’m saying it. At least I’m getting this out there. You have the loud fanatics like some super-christian soldiers on Twitter (not mentioning names because really…I don’t want to get into a personal name calling contest) who offer that we are vile, that we are evil incarnate. That our lifestyle raises hoodlums and ne’er do wells. They say that no homosexual person is capable of monogamy. When I hear that I laugh. I laugh so hard I nearly pee myself. Take a step down from your soap box. Look around at the world. Look at reality television for God’s sake! How many promiscuous heterosexual people are idolized on them? What kind of a world do we live in where amazing intellectuals and artists who just happen to be gay are looked down on by their own government?

Rick Perry posted an ad, in it he said “There’s something wrong with this country if gays can openly serve in the military but you can’t pray in public school.” (or something to that effect). No, Mr. Perry. There’s nothing wrong with this country. We are a country FOUNDED on religious freedom. Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness! Did I miss the memo that said “only if you’re christian, white and straight”?  We are a country, or we should be, of tolerance for ALL religions.  Get off your high horses.  Muslims aren’t evil. Yes, there are fanatical sects of Islam but guess the fuck what! There are also radical sects of Christianity. Look no further than the Westboro Baptist Church for that.  Homoesexual people aren’t evil either. Yes, there are promiscuous gays but there are also a hell of a lot more promiscuous straight people.


They want less government involvement. GREAT! Then take that and stay out of my bedroom. Who I love isn’t the problem. The problem is their fear. Their cowardice and unwillingness to understand and accept a lifestyle that isn’t theirs. They are cowards. Every one of them. They hide behind their words and their status, they make up studies that say having two homosexual parents is worse than having absentee, jailed parents? I’d love to see the study and the credentials on the person who performed that study please. Oh what’s that? You can’t produce it? Funny that.

I am so tired of hearing this. I’m so tired of the Christian argument over homosexuality. It’s sad, it’s sad because with people that thick headed you are never going to change their minds. But, we can change the minds of people we meet. We can continue to be the people we are and show the rest of the country that there’s nothing wrong with being gay. It shouldn’t be an issue. It’s just another way of being on the grand spectrum of life. But it is an issue. I’m sad to say it will always be an issue to some degree. Hate doesn’t go away. It’s a weed that always manages t o worm it’s way back to the surface.

So. This year I urge everyone to vote, more than I ever would have in the past. If you like a candidate simply because of their fiscal platforms take a look at their bigger picture. Think about what kind of person you want running this country. Do you want someone that looks at other walks of life as evil and vile? What sort of example does that give the rest of the world? And how terrifying a thought is it when you think of it in terms of Foreign Policy?  Think about your friends, nieces, sisters, daughters, brothers, sons, fathers, nephews….are any of them gay? Do you want to see them thrown into the category of second class citizen? Not allowed to be with who they love? Not allowed to have children? Think about life. Not money. Money may talk, but when all is said and done it is our connectivity with one another that matter. The human race survived evolution for a reason. We’re intelligent beings capable of amazing things.

I’m far from educated when it comes to the political world. I call it like I see it. And I’m distressed. I’m tired of sitting in the background. I’m tired of being quiet like everyone expects me to. I’m tired of ignoring the fact that people are trying to tell me who I can love, whether or not I can enter into a legally binding marriage (god has nothing to do with this Christians) and receive the benefits of said legally binding contract (and civil unions ARE NOT the same) and if I can have children or not. You know…I am disappointed in America. Disappointed that we’ve become such a greedy, me me me society that we can’t look at the bigger picture. Look at the bigger picture people. You let them take away rights from one group…who knows what’s next.  Politicians are inherently malevolent creatures. Most only care about themselves. But that’s the system we have. So let’s look at every aspect of a politician’s platform and make educated votes based on the kind of country you want to live in. One that is fueled by hate and ignorance? Or one that’s fueled by the educated decision making a government SHOULD be run by.


Farewell to “The Girl Who Waited”….

Doctor Who is a passion of mine. Not to say I walk around in a bow tie and fez, though come on in the words of the 11th Doctor “Fezzes are cool”.  It’s one of those shows that gets me daydreaming. It gets my weird little brain working on the what ifs. And the what ifs often fuel my writing. So, I love it. Not to mention, who wouldn’t want to sail around the universe in a TARDIS? I’m fairly certain, even if they don’t admit it out loud, anyone who has ever watched Doctor Who (reboot or old series) for any length of time has imagined what it would be like.

The Doctor has companions. Lovely lasses (and in the case of Rory Williams .. lads) who fly around with him helping to save the universe from Alien threats. The companions never last long. The longest two we’ve had in the reboot have been Rose Tyler (see earlier posts for my COMPLETE distaste for her) and Amy Pond. Oh Amy Pond, the girl who waited. 

Now. I’ll get to my sad send off in a moment. I first want to reflect on the other two companions in the last six seasons that had any merit to them.  First, we had Martha Jones. Now, Martha has gotten more play in some episodes of Torchwood. Which is great. Doctor Jones was charismatic, beautiful and smart. She could keep up with the Doctor and no, she didn’t fall head over heels blindly in love with him.  Sure, every companion loves the Doctor in their own way. How can you not love a man who saves the universe and time itself at every go? But Martha wasn’t completely clouded by it. She was a girl who could stand on her own two feet. I genuinely adored Martha, and I still do. 

Donna. Played by the comedic great Catherine Tate. I love Catherine Tate. She’s funny as all hell and her show ‘The Catherine Tate Show’ keeps me laughing. Though, as far as companions went she wasn’t the greatest. She wasn’t entirely memorable except for her comedic performances. But you know, I still liked her better than Rose.

Sigh. Amy Pond. By far my favorite companion. There’s something about Amy Pond that just fits. She’s the sort of companion I imagine I would be if I lived in the fictional world. Amy, the girl who waited, the one who can remember things no one else can. She’s brought the Doctor back, she’s the mother of one of my favorite tv characters of all time River Song (aka Melody Pond).  At first I was wary about Amy Pond as a companion. I didn’t like her at first go. But over the last two seasons she’s made  her way into my heart. Due largely in part to the stellar performance of Karen Gillan. But alas, Amy Pond is bidding farewell to her time travelling adventures. It makes me sad. In fact when I heard it I teared a little.  I will miss Amy Pond. I will miss what she has become, and I will mourn the loss of what she could have been.  Sure, we’ll have her for a few episodes in season seven. I’m glad for that. But I will miss Amy terribly. She is, by far, my favorite companion of the reboot. I’ll miss the interplay between her and Rory. The almost tender moments between her and River. The darkness when she killed that bitch who’s name I can’t spell. All parts of Amy Pond will remain in my heart. 

Who ever could fill that hole? I just hope the next companion will be as great as she. So I’m tipping a glass to Amy Pond. Bidding her a fond farewell. And of course wishing actress Karen Gillan all the best in her career. I hope she lands more kick ass roles. Though none will I love her in half as much as Doctor Who.

The Lonely Heart of a Former Anita Blake Fan…

Everyone has the one author their friend recommends, or they pick up randomly in a bookstore (the author’s book, not the author themselves).  They read this author and suddenly a new world or genre opens up for them. Actually usually it’s just a new genre. I have yet to hear of inter-dimensional/world rifts opening after reading the first chapter of a book. Though, I wish it did. I could use one. Don’t you worry about what I’d use it for. Not taking over the world…. (This one anyway).

In any case; You read this author for the first time and you climb to the highest mountain and scream “OH DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN MISSING?!” The sun parts the clouds and suddenly, you reach an enlightened state. Or maybe like normal people, you just really fucking love the book so much you want to read everything the author has ever written.

That was me when my best friend said “You know what you would like? The Anita Blake Series.” So I borrowed Guilty Pleasures and was immediately plunged into a genre I had never read before. Urban Fantasy. So of course, I adored the book so much I picked up every one that was out at the time. I devoured them like a kid devouring Reese’s cups on Halloween.  I loved it. I loved the genre. I had finally found what I had been missing in reading. Here was the same type of stories I myself wrote. Being a lowly youngster I had no idea there was even a market for this sort of thing. (Other than the short lived ‘She Wolf of London’ which I used as my excuse for writing a terrible werewolf story in sixth grade).

I had a good few years of loving Anita. Here was a strong heroine. She raised the dead for a living and was a vampire executioner. She had scars. She was short and had curly hair. She was a HUMAN. Well, she was technically a necromancer but still human.

Anita and I had a good few books together. But sometimes, love just doesn’t last. Around The Killing Dance it started going downhill. The initial few sex scenes slowly began turning into chapters upon chapters of sex. Anita herself became a sort of…sex feeder human/almost shifter/vampire human servant….thing.  I tried. I tried to keep the love affair going, but Anita soon became something I wasn’t happy with.

It was my own personal opinion. I never berated LKH for throwing the monkey wrench into the story I had held so dear. I understand. I get it. A series that goes on that long, things change. Hey, she’s the writer and some people still love her stuff. That’s great. For her and the fans that still read the Anita series.

I gave it right up until Anita got the Ardeur. Yeah, that’s when I decided my favorite Urban Fantasy series had become little more than a paranormal harlequin romance. And while I certainly don’t look down my nose at those (I have friends who love them) it’s really just not my thing. In fact, I was pissed off. I sort of still am. I’m pissed because for a while people still tried to convince me that it was hardcore and bad ass and worth my time and money. It was hardcore alright. Hardcore shape shifting porn. Bad ass? More like ass-less chaps. The books still had a thinly veiled story line so I can see where the confusion comes in. But here’s a good way to know you’re not reading anything but smut, when every page you randomly turn to has a sex scene.

I’m not saying LKH is a bad writer. I think she has a great story-telling ability. I wish I could write half as well as the first Anita Blake books were written. I know I’m all but destined to write my little stories and have my friends and family read them only.  I’m okay with this. I write because I love to tell a story. So some of you may not think that qualifies me to criticize a highly paid author, but as a consumer and avid reader I think I have a right to voice my opinion.

I’m not saying don’t buy her stuff. I never would do that. I think there’s a lot of people who would LOVE  it. And that’s awesome. Great for you. Me? I still mourn the loss of my once beloved series. There’s a void that will never be quite filled. Some say it’s been rebooted, that it’s better now. It just left such a bad taste in my mouth I don’t know if I can bring myself to face the disappointment.

Thankfully, over the years I have discovered amazing authors and series that I can read; Authors that just keep coming up with more and more awesome. So a brief thank you to some of the authors who gave me faith in the publishing industry again.

And to you Anita. I hope someday we can meet again and our meeting will be a joyous one.

Weak vs. Strong Heroines (screen edition)


We’ve all seen them. The movies or television shows that make you want to throw your television out of the window of your sixth floor apartment, completely aware it will kill someone but you just need to cleanse after watching that crap. Sometimes it’s not even the show itself. Sometimes the show is so amazing you find yourself praising the movie and tv gods for bringing you the show….and add in the addendum that you wish they would kill off Character X.


We’re here again today kids to talk about the weak, annoying, whiny heroines or supporting female characters that make you want to vom in your mouth; and the strong kick ass ones that make you just WISH you looked that good in leather pants and could wield a weapon with such grace and finesse. (No, I will not spend the entire blog article talking about Kate Beckinsale in Underworld, even though really…can we say I wish I was Selene? or Sienna Guillory in Resident Evil 2. Because, yeah…Jill Valentine definitely made that movie. No disrespect to Milla or anything but…Jill did it all in a skirt.)


Lost Girl. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Doctor Who (the reboot for the purposes of this entry). Battlestar Galactica (also the reboot for the purposes of this entry). What do these all have in common? Shows I LOVE. With every fiber of meing I love them. So, it’s a little painful for me to say some of the things I’m going to say about them. But they have little to do with the overall merit of the show, its mostly the characters I am going to highlight.

Last time we gathered, we discussed the weak and strong heroines from two novels. (Addendum. I have been told that by the END of the Twilight Snore-ga Bella becomes a stronger character. So, let me say my opinion is based on solely having read the first book. But still, why do we have to wait four books for a character to become what he/she should have been all along. I personally have issues with this.) So this time, we’re going to talk about the females in these shows.

Let’s start off with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A show that, for the seven seasons it graced televisions everywhere, I was in love with it. I watched it religiously every week since day one. I wrote fanfictions about it. Hell I even roleplayed with my friends online. But one thing in all my teenage Buffy obsessed fandom rang true. I FUCKING HATED BUFFY. She’s a strong, kick ass lady. I’ll give her that. But she was whiny and “oh woe is me” ALL THE TIME. Thank heavens for the likes of Willow, Giles and Xander because really without them I doubt I would have watched the show. Sure, some small part of me probably like Buffy a little. But when it came down to it….I just felt that for someone so strong and powerful, she really just wallowed in her self-pity. Now. I know Willow is the complete anti-thesis of the strong heroine, at first. But she wasn’t marketed as the Heroine. She was the side kick. I have a high tolerance for side kicks. Besides, Willow really leapt into the whole supernatural world head first. Go Willow go. Buffy….yeah I killed her off in a lot of my fanfictions, and not in nice ways either. She may have been able to slay the forces of evil, but she couldn’t get her own head together. If she listened to her friends more, she probably would have been an amazingly well rounded strong female heroine.

Lost Girl. What can I say about this show other than it is sheer Canadian crack. (SyFy will be airing it now as well, thank heavens.) It centers, for those who have never seen it, around a Succubus named Bo. Bo one day finds herself in the world of the fae, a world she never knew existed. Hell, she never even knew what she was. That is until she saves Kenzi (OH KENZI HOW I LURVE HER) from a rapist in an elevator. Sucking the man’s love energy and life right out of him. Bo is an unaligned Fae, and Kenzi. Well cute, stupid, funny human Kenzi is the best sidekick and friend Bo could ever hope for. Bo is as strong as they come. She’s smart, she’s tough and she’s not afraid to fight the big wigs to get a straight answer. Sure, the show’s got a lot of sex. buuuut when your main character is a Succubus who needs to feed off sexual energy to stay alive. Plus, it’s always a sideline gig. Well, except for the rocky relationship between Bo and Dyson. But really. You need to watch the show. Bo is one of my favorites. I wish every character I write would be half as awesome as Bo because…really, she exemplifies EVERYTHING I’ve been talking about in these two posts. Kenzi is just the best too. Trust me, you watch the show, you love her. And her Kenzi quips. They are legendary.

Doctor Who. I watched Doctor Who on PBS and other stations when I could before this reboot. Mmm. Tom Baker. I loved him man. I really truly loved him. When the reboot came on tele, I almost didn’t watch the whole first season. Actually, I didn’t at first. Because I couldn’t stand Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor….and i HATED Rose. Rose Tyler. By far the worst companion ever. Really, and I ADORE Billie Piper. I just felt Rose was….sad. She was so in love with the Doctor. That was all that mattered. I just…I wanted to claw my brain to bits whenever I watched it. Thankfully Series 2 brought us David Tennant. He was what made me give it another shot. Despite Rose (who I DO love for giving us the immortal Captain Jack Harkness. Without her sucking in the Time Vortex, Captain Jack wouldn’t be sexy AND immortal) being Rose, David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor was…brilliant. But yeah, Rose…thank god she left and we got MARTHA. Mmmm. Martha Jones. Now there is one sweet and sassy companion that could handle herself.

Last but certainly not least we have battlestar Galactica. Now, anyone who has seen the reboot knows what I’m going to say. STARBUCK. STARBUCK STARBUCK STARBUCK. (Let’s ignore the end because really that ticked me off) and talk about Starbuck as the kick ass, take names and rough and tumble pilot that she is. Starbuck is what every female action lead should be. She saves herself, she’s smart, okay sometimes she’s REALLY rash but no one is perfect. Starbuck (who’s portrayal really couldn’t have been done by anyone BUT Katee Sackhoff) is for me, the perfect female heroine. She’s one you can look at and say “You know what. I want to be just like her.” And sure, while we aren’t going to be flying around fighting Cylons anytime soon…we can all take a lesson from Kara “Starbuck” Thrace. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you can’t save the world, defend yourself or be the key to finding the long lost home planet….and then consequently POOFING in the last episode, leaving fans everywhere sad and angry. Okay, went a little overboard there but there you go.

So. Lesson learned. Strong female characters=GOOD. Weak female characters=BAD. And weak and strong doesn’t just mean their physical strength. It applies to their emotional strength as well. You can have the strongest person in the world but if they have a weak mind they’re pretty much good for nothing but bashing skulls in. That might be good for the male leads, but females need to have smarts AND braun in order to make it. It’s a rough world out there. So, let’s get on the strong heroine bus and…yeah that sounded awful. I’m gonna stop now. Until next time!

Weak vs. Strong Heroines (Book Edition)

I used to work at a book store. Seems a pretty good place to start this. Working at a book store was great, I worked in the receiving area so I got to see the books before everyone else did. For someone who loves books as much as I do, this was like Mecca for me.  I’m sad sometimes, having left one of the most personally rewarding jobs (because I’m a weirdo who simply loves books, and not just what’s in them. the feel and smell of a new book fills me with joy) I’ve had. It was a move purely for financial gain and to get the hell out of New Jersey.  But, my love of books has remained.  I’m getting off track. The point is, working there afforded me access to books. I read many a back book covers, and let me tell you…I wonder sometimes.  I’m far from a critic, but have you ever read some books and slap your head and go “WHY?!”

I even read books I never would normally read, because…I had access to them.  I think perhaps the biggest waste of my time, and the real point of this scathing review, are the Twilight books (because of their weak lead character).  Watch out, tweens and adults alike everywhere are reeling backward and hissing. They’ll call me names and throw rotten tomatoes at me in public for this I’m sure. But really. Really?!? I made it through the first book, which shows you what a glutton for self inflicted pain I am. I will never gain back the brain cells I lost reading that novel. (Nor will I gain back the sight in my eyes after deciding to watch the movie to see what everyone was going crazy about.)  But the book. The book first…then I’ll get into bashing the horror that Robert Pattinson became in that series (BRING BACK CEDRIC DAMNIT! I liked him as Cedric….)

I tend to like books with strong heroines. (not strong heroine. this is not a drug addiction site).  I like female and male protagonists equally, but I like novels that portray their female lead in a kick ass way. Meaning, they don’t need a man to save the day and they don’t sleep with everything that walks. I like contemporary fantasy a great deal, but I notice a lot of the A-list mainstream high selling novels have female leads that make me want to claw out my eyes, move to an island and live out the rest of my days in obscurity pretending I’m not a female.   Twilight was no exception.

I have never read such a wishy washy, ridiculously moronic lead female as Bella Swan.  Girl needs to take some classes in feminism. For serious. Mopey, bleary eyed youths may be in and hip, but dear god do they make me want to vom in my mouth. Now, I’m 28. This should be said early on because I want the clarification that I am an adult that will read young adult novels. Why? because a lot of times they are amazing and the story is well worth the read.  And a lot of the young adult novels I have read have AWESOME female leads that really, really exemplify what I would love to see ALL female leads in contemporary fantasy be like.

(WARNING. I will shortly be making comparisons to other novels and female characters, please don’t hold it against the writers. This is all MY opinion and mine alone. So if you want to throw any backlash for it, throw it my way and not theirs.)

One of my favorite series (which is a newer one, but one i love so much I’m using it to compare the characters) is the Iron Codex Series by Caitlin Kittredge.  Now, I love all of her stuff. That should be said right off.  In my hierarchy of favorite writers of this day and age she’s at a tie for the top.  So admittedly I am a little bias. But that’s what blogs are for…throwing your bias out into the world and watching it fly away.  However, she wouldn’t BE my favorite author if she couldn’t write, or if I didn’t like her stories or characters.

The first novel in the series by Kittredge is called The Iron Thorn. And of course I ordered it when I worked at the bookstore to get it the day it came out. Why? Because I was so excited by the premise that I had to read it as soon as I could.  (Now keep in mind this comparison is just to show the QUALITIES of the female leads. Because these books are in two TOTALLY different realms). Within the first five pages I fell in love with Kittredge’s heroine Aoife Grayson. Why? because she’s tough as shit and even though she’s young and goes through some moments, you genuinely believe in her. You want to see her kick ass and take names. She’s a STRONG FEMALE LEAD. Sure, she gets help from the males in the story but I reckon Aoife could handle herself on her own if she had to. But the bottom line kids, everyone needs help. If a character did EVERYTHING on their own the story would get real boring real quick. But there’s a fine line between needing help and needing your hand held while you take a pee.

Now, let’s do an experiment. We’re going to throw Bella Swan into Aoife Grayson’s world. My prediction is that Bella wouldn’t last .5 seconds. Why? because she has no mind of her own other than “make me a vampire. I hate my life and I can’t do anything.” Bella never REALLY solves anything does she? Her entire existance seems based on the fact that she wants to be a vampire. (okay yes, friends have told me a lot about the series. but I still reserve the right to make fun. I wanted to claw my eyes out at the end of the first book. no way in hell was I reading more).  What’s the freaking point of her?

Now. Aoife has drive. She has spunk and sass. She goes on a fact finding mission. She abandons everything she knows, she gets into scuffles and she comes out on top. She thinks. That’s the bottom line. The girl is smart. I like that. No. I love that. I found myself caring so much about her character that I was upset when I finished the book and didn’t have the second one right away.

So. Yes. I hate whiny, good for nothing heroines who need a man to save the day or sleep with to get things done. ( *cough*anitablake*cough*) <—more on this another day.  I love free thinkers, kick butt girls who you KNOW could handle shit on their own but know it would be suicide to run into dangerous situations without some kind of backup.

Oh, and also. I don’t mind sex in novels. I really really don’t. As long as it’s written well and not the only plot in the novel. Kittredge’s adult Black London Series has sex in the books. And by god does she write a great sex scene. But you know what? It doesn’t over power the story. So, go Ms. Kittredge. Keep writing because I love your stuff. You give me hope that one day the crap will all go away. That we won’t have Bellas and Jacobs and Edwards marauding through the written word mucking things up for decent characters everywhere.

As for Twilight, I will steer very very clear of it and it’s ilk. I like my brain cells in tact. And I certainly don’t want to idolize a woman who’s sole purpose in life is to become a vampire like the man she loves.  Dear Bella Swan. Seriously. I really really hate you.

Stay tuned for the film/television edition of this post where I shall highlight my love of Canada’s show Lost Girl and it’s strong female heroines, and my complete distaste for Rose from seasons 1 and 2 of the Doctor Who reboot. Now THAT’S gonna be fun to read.